Poison or Fire
by tryhard
Summary: Cerium had no memories of her past life. But when asked by Gandalf to accompany him on a quest, Cerium had no hesitation in answering him yes. To reclaim Erebor was her mission, but with her mission she meets Thorin. With each passing day, the two grow close together but with that, the painful memories starts to appear. Would Cerium want to relive her memories or make new ones?
1. Chapter 1

1.

_"Cassie? Cassie can you hear me? Squeeze my hand if you. Cassie, squeeze my hand ..." _

* * *

Blue eyes stared into the distance.

Rows of trees surrounded a small pale body. The sky above was dark blue and stars were plotted in every direction. The ground beneath was a lush green.

Blue eyes blinked. One, twice, three times.

Not a moment later the girl's eyes fell close and with that the tears fell. Large, wet tears poured down her pale face. Deep and sorrowful sobs escaped her. Upon hearing those sounds, she cupped her mouth with her hands, desperately trying to hold it all in but failed unsuccessfully. Weakly, she drew her legs towards her chest and her arms wrapping around them. She let her head fall down to her chest, allowing her herself to become small to the large area that surrounded her.

Her mind was silent. Blank. However there was one question in her mind.

_Where was she?_

* * *

She heard the sound of hooves before she saw the horse. Her eyes spotted the rider of the horse. He was man, a bearded man, from what she could see. He was wrapped in a cloak and wore a hat on his head. His horse trotted on but the man pulled the rein and the horse stopped.

She shut her eyes and held her breathe. She did not know the man and altogether did not trust him. She knew not of his motives.

She listened for a few moments, wondering whether the man left. She heard nothing of the horse and assumed that the man left silently.

She assumed wrong.

Once her eyes opened, she found herself staring into the eyes of the man. She leaped away from him and took several steps back. Unfortunately she did not notice the branch and fell backwards. She gave a cry of pain and the man rushed forward.

"My dear," He told her, "Be not afraid, I bring you no harm."

He gently pushed her into a sitting position. She wrapped her arms herself and stared at the man in fright.

"I am Gandalf the Grey," He continued softly, not wanting to scare the girl any more than he already had, "What is your name, young one?"

"Cerium," The name rolled off her tongue so easily. "My name is Cerium."

She remembered her name but nothing else. No memories of her past life or of her childhood. No faces of her family or friends. Her mind was blank, empty.

She wanted to scream to the heavens above. She did not know who she really was and here she was stuck with a man who intended to ask questions she did not know the answer to.

"And what, dear Cerium, are you doing in Bree, so far from home?" Gandalf asked.

Gandalf assumed because of her size she was a dwarf but she did not have a beard, however no many female dwarves had beards. She could be a hobbit however the lack of hair on her feet corrected Gandalf. She was too small to be a elf or a human. She was a dwarf in Gandalf's eyes until proven otherwise.

"Bree?" Cerium whispered, testing the word for herself. She was not familiar with the word. Once said, no images or words came to her mind. _Was Bree a town? Who inhabited such a place named Bree?_ She wondered. "What is Bree?"

"Bree is where you are now, dear child." Gandalf frowned. The child did not know where she was, that worried Gandalf to no end. Was the girl traumatized of past events? Gandalf ran his eyes on the girl's form, noticing the clothing she wore. Such strange clothing the girl wore, a pale blue dressing gown, very thin and obviously not fit for the weather. Gandalf took his cloak and wrapped it around the girl, stilling her shivering. The girl was surprised but hugged the clothing around her, snuggling into the warm that it provided.

"Do you …" Gandalf searched for the right words. "Are you familiar with this land, dear girl?"

Cerium was hesitant but answered, "No. I do not know where I am." _Or who I am. _

"Do you know how you got here?"

_Beep. Beep. _

"_One." _

"_Two." _

_Pain flooded her chest. _

"_Three." _

"_One last time." _

_The pain spread around her body. _

_Then darkness. _

Cerium's hand slammed into her head, holding it tightly.

It hurt, everything hurt to remember.

The voices disappeared and nothing was left but pain for Cerium to feel. Red spots appeared in her vision and she clenched her eyes tight. She wanted it to stop. Wanted it all to go away to leave her be. She wanted to remember nothing if it only brought pain.

The red spots disappeared and came the darkness that engulfed her mind.

* * *

**AN: Hello, well this is my first fanfiction for **_**The Hobbit **_**so sorry if I got anything wrong; just tell me so I can change it. **

**Um, criticism would really be great. **

**And yeah, sorry for the awkwardness, so new to all of this. **

**Disclaimer: I own nothing of **_**The Hobbit, **_**the amazing J.R.R Tolkien does. **


	2. Chapter 2

2.

_Why is it always like this? _

Cerium wondered as she opened her eyes. Her vision blurred but within a few moments it cleared.

_Why is it that once I'm awake, I find myself in a new and unknown place? _

Gone were the trees, grass and open air. This time brown wooden walls confined her and loud voices could be heard below her.

Cerium groaned as another attack of pain slammed into her mind. She sat herself upright and leaned onto the headboard of the bed she slept on. She drew her legs to her chest and placed her head onto her bent knees.

She tried to recall everything that had happened.

First, she found herself in a forest. How she found herself there or why she was there were her main questions. Second, a tall bearded man – Gandalf, she remembered – found her and asked her questions and when she tried to answer them, her head would pound with pain. So much pain that it caused her to blank out.

Now she was in a room and she had no idea to where she was.

_It must have been Gandalf, _she thought, _he was the one who must have placed me here. But where exactly is here?_

The handle to the door turned and the door opened revealing Gandalf. From what she could see Gandalf was holding a bowl of stew and on his arm was a set of clothes, a white buttoned shirt and black breeches.

"Glad to see you awake dear child." He told her with a gentle smile. He placed the clothes onto the edge of her bed and the bowl on the table that was near the bed. "Do you remember me?"

"Yes, you are Gandalf." Cerium answered, "Where am I, may I ask?"

"You are at The Prancing Pony, an inn, in Bree." Gandalf told her, "This is where we will be staying for the meantime."

"The meantime? What will happen after?"

"My dear, you are not familiar with this land. I can take a wild guess and say that you do not know how or why you ended here, no?"

"Yes," Cerium nodded, "I have no idea why I'm here. I don't know who I am. I have no memory of my family or my past life. Whenever I think, all I can come up with is blankness and pain."

Cerium did not know why, but she believed she can trust Gandalf. She can tell him whatever he needed to know about her, she does not need to lie. He aided her when she was lost, instead he could have left her alone and confused in the forest. But he didn't and Cerium was thankful for that.

"I see. Well, you are in my care now Cerium. I cannot leave a female who knows nothing of this world alone by herself. How will you survive?" How will she survive, indeed, Gandalf thought to himself, she has zero knowledge of Middle Earth. What if she comes across something she cannot handle and with that gets injured or worse, killed? Her blood will be on Gandalf's hand.

Cerium wondered, "Is this world truly dangerous as you make it out to be, Gandalf?"

_It can't be that bad, can it? _

Gandalf gave her a soft smile. She was pure and innocent in this world, naive even. "As like every world there is, there is always danger, always darkness and evil. But there is light that shines through and defeats the dark."

Cerium was silent for a few moments. What Gandalf said Cerium took to her heart. But before Cerium could think about it, Gandalf continued, "You should collect your strength and eat." Gandalf passed her the bowl. "After you've eaten, I will be leaving."

"Already? To where?"

"I must go to Bag End and see a certain Hobbit."

_Bag End? Is that another town like Bree? And what is a Hobbit? _

Gandalf continued, "And you will be accompanying me, Cerium."

* * *

Gandalf stopped at a market to pick some supplies that they will need for their journey head from Bree to Hobbitton. Gandalf explained to Cerium what a Hobbit is.

"They are a race similar to men; however they are small of size and have hairy feet. They are quiet and simple creatures who enjoy the comfort of their homes. Very respectable, they are, especially the one you will meet."

"Gandalf, will you be long?" Cerium asked as Gandalf eyed the stalls.

"Not too long, dear Cerium." Gandalf answered.

Cerium nodded and tugged the hood of her cloak to cover more of her face. The wary looks that were being passed to her worried her. Everyone towered over her and only now Cerium noticed how small she really is. Gandalf told her she was dwarf and because of that she was smaller than most.

"Don't touch me – help. HELP PLEASE."

A frantic voice called out. Cerium spun around, searching for the voice. Everyone around her walked on, ignoring the voice.

"Gandalf." She called out, looking for Gandalf. To Cerium's horror, Gandalf was nowhere in her sight. "Gandalf, where are you?" Cerium spoke a bit louder this time. "Gandalf I–"

"HELP ME PLEASE!"

The voice – a child's voice, Cerium realised – screamed. Still people walked on and held no acknowledgement to the child's pleading and screams.

Cerium had no hesitation and ran towards the voice. She pushed passed many people who gave her nasty looks but Cerium ignored them, running faster. She passed an empty stall and stopped running when she saw a man manhandling a poor child.

"No, no don't touch me, let me go." The boy pleaded, trying to tear himself out of the man's grip.

"Your dear old father owes me money, boy," The man replied, a deadly grin on his face, "and I will collect."

"No." Cerium spoke out.

She realised her mistake and cursed herself. The man's head shot up and his eyes darted towards Cerium.

His grin grew.

"Who's this now?" The man asked, "A dwarf. You have no business here, girl, leave before I do something you'll regret."

"Let him go." Cerium was scared, you could tell from her shaking form and her unsteady voice. But her eyes held a fire, a fire that only shows from a mother when her child is in grave danger. Cerium would not run, not when the boy's life is in her hands, not when she could save the boy. "Let him go now."

The man threw his head back, laughing.

"And if I don't?" He asked.

Cerium took a deep breath. What can she do? She was smaller, weaker than the man. She was no match against him.

"And if I don't?" The man repeated, waiting impatiently for her reply.

Cerium locked eyes with the small boy. He had tears in his eyes and he was shaking. His wrist was swollen and red thanks to the man's grip, which was tightening each second.

Cerium closed her eyes for a second, not wanting to see the pain in the young boy's eyes.

_"Be careful Mathew." _

_He giggled softly, "I will be sis, I will."_

Cerium opened her eyes as she heard the whisper. With her narrowed eyes, she answered him, "If you don't let him go, you'll regret ever touching the boy." and lunged at the man.

The man fell from the impact onto the ground. His hand on the boy was torn. He grunted and tried to push Cerium way however Cerium thought fast and drove her knee to his groin. Cerium jumped away from the man and gently picked up the boy. She kept the boy close to her as she ran. She could hear him sob, his head hiding in her hair and his hands clenching onto her arms.

"Gandalf?" Cerium yelled out, "Gandalf I need your help."

Not a moment later Gandalf came to Cerium's side.

"Cerium," He said, noticing the crying boy in her arms, "What on earth happened?"

* * *

**AN: Next chapter will be Cerium meeting Bilbo and the dwarves. Maybe Thorin, we'll see ha ha. I hope everyone likes Cerium. If you don't, too bad that's how I wrote her. I hope she wasn't Mary Sue here.**

**Note: ****I can only update every 3–4 days because of school and tons of homework. Sigh.**

**Thank you to: **

– **Beautiful dreaming warrior**

– **Ogregal**

– **ChibiCheshire**

– **axara2**

– **QueenOfTheHobbits**

**And a special thank you to SnowLeopardSwan251 for being my first reviewer. **


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